getting clean

I would have liked this post to have been about all the wonderfully relaxing bubble baths I’ve been able to enjoy since being on meds but it’s just not.. I’m a dirty girl. Even with the much less pain the Cymbalta has afforded me, I have yet to still shake the exhaustion on many days. During the week I just try to get dinner on and something productive done before I fall into bed. Bathing takes a lot of effort and I still find it hard to wash (much less style) my hair in any sort of regular interval.. I am working on it. For now I just try to lay in some hot soapy water on my off days, dry shampoo the hell out of my bangs, and hope for the best. Full disclosure – this isn’t even every day.. don’t judge.

This is about slowly switching over to clean ingredients in the products I use most often and simplifying my routine to a manageable level. Your skin is your biggest organ yadda yadda, and since I am trying to do better with what I put in my body.. I figured it couldn’t hurt to devote some time to what I put on my body. It’s a controversial subject, and there are varying degrees of what is considered clean but I think such things do have an impact on health and choose to err on the side of smart choices as best I can.. so I’ve been slowly switching over.

As a bonus, because skincare often gets pushed to the side as well, my usual everyday routine consists of two products (of which you can get at all price points, I just wanted to treat myself in hopes the siren song of the pretty vanity would lure me into regular use).. coconut oil and a facial balm/oil. Full disclosure – I do have some Thayers rose petal toner for the really lazy/flare times.. where I just swipe and go.

Most days, I honestly can get away with just coconut oil. I can massage a tiny bit in my skin in the morning and evening and take off with a warm washcloth.. usually this is enough for my skin to stay soft. I use a bit more in evening to take off makeup and the grunge of the day. On my dry days, I supplement with the oil or balm. I am currently using the Live Botanical repair balm with hopes to explore more of their stuff in future but I like to switch up (this one takes just a tiny bit so it will last forever). I also make my own sometimes (recipe below, play with it). It’s quick, and even on my most tired days I enjoy the few seconds it takes to feel a bit pampered.. amazing how relaxing a warm washcloth and coconut oil can be.

Patchouli Argan Facial Oil:

fill a 2 oz bottle 2/3 of the way with argan or jojoba oil (or a mix/one tailored to your skin needs. Add three to five drops of carrot seed oil (opt). Put in 1-2 small drops of Patchouli essential oil (you can also use lavender, sometimes I mix.. or none at all, or you can use what makes your skin happy so long as you research and pick a skin friendly one). Top off with rosehip seed oil and shake before use.



not an only water baby

There’s something about a less is more concept that pulls at my inner obsessive (still working on my Kondo). So when I came across this article, I squealed joyfully at the thought of a complete reset and handed over my last Amazon book credit. I was totally on board with this water only laziness.. plus the word detox had me (in my mind) spending all those extra minutes lounging in my newly beautiful skin munching on organic fruit while my cats gave me a massage. What? It’s plausible..

There are three levels:

  1. supplement (3+ days) – keep your current skincare but add in one of her recommendations.. I liked the idea of honey as a face cleanser
  2. eliminate (1 day) – no product or makeup of your own, replace them with her suggestions.. she has a ton of recipes, I really enjoyed the chickpea mask
  3. detoxify (3 days to 2 weeks) – no products or makeup at all and you cleanse with water only.. she suggests a washcloth for the body and 10 to 20 splashes for the face, rubbing the water across with your hands

I went all on with level 3.

Did I mention that the water only method includes not just your face but your entire body and your hair? Yeah.. I wish not to talk about it. My face, however, became quite soft and pore shrunken within a few days after just a quick bout of mild dryness. I didn’t even mind going around with a naked face.. that is, until the spots came stampeding in.

Purging.. just purging, I figured – and I stayed strong. Then one night, when things had gotten a bit out of hand, I broke and dotted my nemeses with blemish lotion. It was my only cheat night. They eased but never left. They invited friends. Towards the end of the two week trial I finally had to call it.. I was developing quite a prominent rosacea red mustache. Obviously, I was not an only water baby.

I gleefully scrubbed myself from head to toe and then proceeded to march around the house in my unders proclaiming my cleanliness far and wide.. well, to the husband, the fat cats, and possibly a neighbor passing by the window anyways. Bless all the folk that this worked so well for, but it was just not my cuppa. I continue on working out the perfect clean routine in an effort to see if that makes any differences in my body and it’s infinite weirdness.. to be continued..

The chickpea mask:

Mix 1 tbsp of mashed chickpeas (what I used) or chickpea flour with enough turmeric to tint it yellow. Then add 1 tbsp of water and apply. Leave on until dry then rinse off. Easy chickpeasy.

what I have learned from the fat cat

My voluptuous polar bear sized beautiful baby boy has taught me so much these past few months. He is the most chill cat that I have ever had and even though he has been sick for over nine months with no clear diagnosis, he really gives no ducks.

He still enjoys his day to day.. belly rubbing, sofa scratching, water sports in the kitchen floor, and of course most of all – sleeping. He doesn’t over tax himself and when he feels like I am not appreciating the moment (or him) enough, he gives me a sharp bite in the soft meat between my toes and brings me back to center.. total kitty zen.

the little ritual of letting go

One thing I am learning with fibro is that I have to pay better attention to what my body is telling me. I also need to learn to let go a bit and better embrace my new normal. I tend to, even now, overdo things. I spread myself thin and then when I can’t do, I feel lesser or worse.. resentful. This had spilled over most often into my relationships.

These days I have stepped back quite a bit. I spend most of my time at home. I reach out less often because, frankly, I am still spending most of my time trying to figure this out. Yes, I have lost contact and most have dropped away but I can’t feel bad about that. I am doing what is needed to heal.

I spend good days with those I love and the not so taking care of myself as best I can so I can have more good days. When I find myself troubled with something that needs to be set free, I have a little ritual of letting go.

I light a candle, often one with a soothing scent if I have one on hand.. and let’s face it, I am a bit of a candle whore so that’s usually not a problem. I write what it is on a peace of paper (or a bay leaf from the kitchen – very cleansing) and hold it to my heart. Sometimes I do this sitting by my hearth where I keep a place for my ancestors, and I tell them about it. Sometimes I just speak or hold it in my mind. I say why I need this released.. sometimes it’s just a simple “I choose to no longer hold space for this”, and then I set it aflame. This is the burning away of that which is no longer needed.

I may return the ashes to the earth of the garden and let the wind peacefully carry them away. If at anytime it sneaks back into my thoughts, I acknowledge it and set the thought aside. I have already released this, no point in holding on to it or bringing it back. I can only do my best, and right now I am healing and making space for better things.