the universe was not letting it go

This week’s rituals for living challenge set to me by my planner was all about fiber and good fats (yawn!).. since that is already on my agenda, I decided not to be slack and randomly picked another. Goodbye screen time- I had just listened to a podcast on this very subject. Quickly following, I received a Mindlove email (how do they always know?) about tackling new habits. You’d think I would take a hint..

Somewhat later I pulled a card from the moon deck (more on this later) – clarity. It was about paying attention to the big picture and seeing things from a clearer perspective. The accompanying ritual was short – spend 30 or so minutes at the start of the day tech free and drink a glass of warm lemon water to cleanse.. then see what having that extra time brings. I was sporadic at best in keeping to this.

Then, my seasonal self care intro box landed (don’t judge – I love it with a love that knows no bounds) with a theme of manifest. I quickly wrote down quiet and simplicity. I realized the universe was not letting this one go.. so I started tacking these on to other established habits. I hear this is the best way to be successful.

I added the lemon water onto the morning fat cat feeding – they require a certain amount of belly rubbing before I am released from my duties so I figured I could fit it in then. My sleep/wake reminders are on my phone so I just bag it after I cut them off before I start my meditation. It’s a bit of cheating on the tech but I need my three alarms. By the time I do the go coffee packing and head out for the drive (and a podcast), I have clocked in at least the 30 minutes.

I also moved my messenger and Facebook off of my home screen, squelching the at a glance siren song of the notification counter.. I live in the idea of getting rid of one or both one day. This gives me more quality time to do the things I like to do.. read, cat snuggle, hang out with the husband. I do miss the cat memes though.


gotta getaway

The husband and I took off one weekend day recently to live above our means pretending to be fancy beyond our usual.. it was his birthday after all and I wanted to treat him to something special. He truly is the best husband in all the land you see.

We spent our day (a full 24 hours – we milked it) at a local(ish) resort, complete with massages and schmancy pants food. I can’t even tell you how amazing that was.. or how much I ate. The food itself was edible art – revolving around local fare and presented to compliment the natural surroundings.

We took time to walk the trail around the lake and play in the butterfly garden. I think we all need more times like this in our life where we can spend a few hours not focused on responsibilities and truly just being present. We returned relaxed and refreshed.. I plan on future to take more time as such.. even if it is just locking the doors and hiding the phones.

journey of the unseen

I’ve read that it’s often called the unseen disorder – fibromyalgia.. difficult to diagnose, unseen symptoms, and a stigma of disbelief. I have only recently been diagnosed after two years of misses, multiple tests, and an escalation in pain carrying over ten years. It was my husband that insisted I finally get checked out. Process of elimination, I was told.. my diagnosis was left on my voicemail. Harsh as the delivery method sounds, I was glad to have a name to put with the face. Soon after, I would revisit my rheumatologist for a game plan.. and meanwhile, since I didn’t know much about it, I put on my big girl panties and started researching.

Once I passed my “what fresh hell is this” stage – there isn’t a lot of positive vibe out there, I realized something.. those of us living with this, WE are the unseen. We often wear a mask to push through the pain, and when we are lucky to have days where we feel almost normal, we carry that stigma of disbelief. We are perceived as being okay at best.. faking the extent of what we feel at worst. There are no definitive tests as of yet that we can hold up and say to the universe “see, my pain is real!” So much misinformation exists. It’s hard to keep your chin up in such circumstances, but I am trying. I wish I had the answers. I am at least blessed with a supportive husband and I have a doctor who is working with me. I can hold my head up and speak from the depths and say my pain exists.. and I support those like me who need to be seen.