The husband and I took off one weekend day recently to live above our means pretending to be fancy beyond our usual.. it was his birthday after all and I wanted to treat him to something special. He truly is the best husband in all the land you see.
We spent our day (a full 24 hours – we milked it) at a local(ish) resort, complete with massages and schmancy pants food. I can’t even tell you how amazing that was.. or how much I ate. The food itself was edible art – revolving around local fare and presented to compliment the natural surroundings.
We took time to walk the trail around the lake and play in the butterfly garden. I think we all need more times like this in our life where we can spend a few hours not focused on responsibilities and truly just being present. We returned relaxed and refreshed.. I plan on future to take more time as such.. even if it is just locking the doors and hiding the phones.
I’ve read that it’s often called the unseen disorder – fibromyalgia.. difficult to diagnose, unseen symptoms, and a stigma of disbelief. I have only recently been diagnosed after two years of misses, multiple tests, and an escalation in pain carrying over ten years. It was my husband that insisted I finally get checked out. Process of elimination, I was told.. my diagnosis was left on my voicemail. Harsh as the delivery method sounds, I was glad to have a name to put with the face. Soon after, I would revisit my rheumatologist for a game plan.. and meanwhile, since I didn’t know much about it, I put on my big girl panties and started researching.
Once I passed my “what fresh hell is this” stage – there isn’t a lot of positive vibe out there, I realized something.. those of us living with this, WE are the unseen. We often wear a mask to push through the pain, and when we are lucky to have days where we feel almost normal, we carry that stigma of disbelief. We are perceived as being okay at best.. faking the extent of what we feel at worst. There are no definitive tests as of yet that we can hold up and say to the universe “see, my pain is real!” So much misinformation exists. It’s hard to keep your chin up in such circumstances, but I am trying. I wish I had the answers. I am at least blessed with a supportive husband and I have a doctor who is working with me. I can hold my head up and speak from the depths and say my pain exists.. and I support those like me who need to be seen.